Sunday Picnic

It was so windy, they couldn't even open their eyes for the picture!

Well, we did it, we went for a picnic after church on sunday. I must pat myself on the back for being a good mom and following through even though I was freezing and almost blown away (It was so windy!) Ok, the weather was not good, but the kids would not give up on the idea of going so we went, ate, walked for 15 minutes and Ta-da, we were done. But we managed to have some fun and take a couple of pics!

This is me with Bueller, our little dog we like to borrow! He's such a great pup and the kids love him! (Even he didn't like the wind)

This was the aftermath, when we got back in the car, courtesy of River. I swear, I don't know why I did my hair that day.

Email

Ok people, send me your email addresses! Here is my email:

tara@cleanrightadvantage.com

or I use more often

tj.fitness@hotmail.com

PLEASE and THANKYOU!

Fun and Refreshing

Today was such an interesting day. Here are the highlights:

Today I recieved an amazing gift from my Aunt, whom I don't hear from much - ok, like ever, but it meant the world to me, because it came at a time that I really desperately needed it. I don't think she would know that I was in that situation to need it, but Heavenly Father put us together, in answer to my prayers, and she so amazingly helped me with her random kind deed. I just want to mention that this NEVER happens usually so it was not only shocking, but an amazing blessing, and I know the Lord had his hand in on it. I have no idea how she felt so inspired, I just know that I am so grateful.

Today I realized golf is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. Plus, women are at a serious disadvantage - that is why there is a woman's box to tee off from, not because we're not as strong or as good at it, but because we have a disadvantage. (but that is a whole other story) For those of you who don't golf ~ like me, when teeing off there is a pro box, a difficult box, a regular box and an easy box, and even easier than that is "women's box" for teeing off. Sounds sexist I know. PS. the boxes are actually just color coded but I forget the colors already!)  No, I did not go golfing today, but I did get some lessons and had a lot of fun trying to whack a few balls around. I think I just may practice hittin a few more one of these days. Who knew?

Today I was confirmed in my thought that I suck under pressure. Oh, and I always feel  under "pressure" when I shouldn't. I'm sure you're sitting there wondering, what are you talking about? Ok, well I played pool with my boss today, (if you're wondering why it's because I borrowed his dog, explanation to come later, lol) and I shot like total crap - of course. Why I even mentioned that I used to play league and get hooked into playing in the first place, I don't know. Maybe for my own embarrassment? I shouldn't have felt pressured it was just for fun, and he's such a cool guy, really easy going. Its me, and my fear of embarrassment. Always worried about what others are going to think. Which is hilarious since it causes me to play worse and really embarrass myself! That's why I drank when I played pool league, to loosen my nerves. Ha. Anyways, First two games I couldn't sink a ball to save my life almost, third game I finally started coming around, but still fairly embarrassing. Here's a tip my friends - don't mention skills you think you have (like "yes, I play pool, I used to play league") unless your confident you STILL have these skills. lol. But, in the end it was still fun, I still love the game, and enjoyed myself, and I think that is important. (I think I still have mad skills, I just need some practise without my boss around, and I'll kick some butt again!) 

Today I dropped in on a friend I hadn't seen in a while who had recently had her baby, and is very busy right now. It was so good to catch up with her, and just share how our lives (which are in such very different places right now) are going through some very similar experiences. It amazes me how 30 minutes visiting and sharing testimonies with each other can give me strength and encouragement. She is such an amazing woman, I hope she knows it. I hope everyone that reads this thinks of someone in there life who they can spend 30 minutes visiting with, relating to, listening and talking to them. It can really make a difference, in both your lives. (I'm not speaking for my friend, but I know for me, I really needed a visit today and a friendly chat ~ it was perfect!)

Today was a great day, admittedly the kids and I also:

-borrowed a dog
-went to two parks
-watched a movie
-did family chores BIG TIME!
-stayed up late
-hauled ALL the donation stuff and Garbage away!
-walked the dog
-the kids swam in a Jacuzzi tub with their clothes on
-Took a nap (to reduce the migraine I had it was at a 7 by the evening. )

I loved my evening with my children, watching a movie and then tackling the house as a team. We all worked very hard to get things back in order around here. When my migraines get as bad as they have been the house work can fall behind for days. Then I just can't stand it anymore, and so today I called on the kids and used a sneaky trick, I let them stay up late ~ but they had to be cleaning! Ha! Worked like a charm. They cleaned their little hearts out, didn't complain once, and the house is getting to where it needs to be again. I know I can't always use that trick, but today I just really didn't want another battle. My house may not be where it needs to be yet, but its coming along, and I feel much better now that its started, especially with all the clutter of the donation stuff and garbage (that was in boxes) sitting around the house for the last 2 weeks.

 I really enjoyed my Saturday.

It was Fun and Refreshing!

Somehow in all my enjoyment, I managed to promise the children that after church today we would go for a picnic and take the dog for a walk around Henderson lake. I thought we could bring our book of pictures from the scriptures and discuss which stories they represent, and look them up. I was also hoping to be able to take out some golf clubs and show River some of the stuff I learned since he has such a love for golf. He even has his own clubs.  We also have to give Bueller a bath (thats the dog). So it sounds like another busy day for us, I really hope we can manage to do it all, because it will be fun and our family needs some good quality time.

I totally miss...

You know what I never thought I would miss? Cleaning! Yes, I still have my cleaning company, (So if you need any cleaning...CALL ME!) lol. But since I only do it occasionally on the side now (Which means more like rarely) because of my day job I miss it. I miss the enjoyment of the freedom you get while working, the satisfaction you feel from knowing you will bring so much joy to the hearts of the people when you are done. If you really do a good job at it, it is a very gratifying job, because you know you are doing a job that everyone hates to have to do for themselves - Heck I hate cleaning my own house! And you can choose what to clean first, next, last. You control what to do and when. No bosses over your shoulder. You have mindless work, so you can spend the whole time you're working enjoying listening to music, or talks, or even just thinking and contemplating things. I used to bring a talk on disc to my regular Friday clean every week and I would listen to it over and over all day (since I would miss parts here and there while working) and I would really soak in the messages, and ponder them. It would be a great way to add more revitalization to my week.

I also enjoyed getting to know my clients. Its funny, you hardly ever meet the people you are cleaning for but I think if you are a good cleaner you get to know them quite well.  Not in a creepy way, but in a good way, that makes you strive to want to do well for them because you feel like they're family. You learn things about their habits, you can tell when someone is sick, you know when someone had guests stay with them, or if they do things out of routine. You can tell what books and movies and music they like. You see pictures of their family on their walls. You know if they're tidy or messy. It truly feels amazing more like you've become a help rather than an employee when you think of them as family. I think a good cleaner should notice these things, and feel this way, because we would always work hard for our family and never let our standards slide. We would cherish and respect their home, and their privacy, and most of all we would always work with love in our hearts. At least I do. I had terrific clients though. All of them were/are fantastic people.

I also clean a lot of empty houses too actually I probably do more of that than regular client houses, and I do enjoy them. Post Construction Cleans are my Fav's too. There's something about it, it's like you get double gratification. You get to perfect the contractors work to shine, you get to see him walk in, and marvel in his workmanship for the first time, seeing the home just glow because you made it sparkle! And you also get to know you're making it just right for that new family to come home to soon, so they can enjoy. If I don't know who's moving in I always imagine the families that might be waiting for it, and how excited they will be to move in. Some times I am still there and they come to see it, and I get to see their faces. Its amazing how happy they are, I never used to think it had anything to do with the cleaning - but it does, they tell me things like wow, what a difference, you should have seen it yesterday, or last week! There was dust everywhere. Or then there is the nit picky one's who test your cleaning by running their hands on top of cabinets or door ledges. Not a speck! Such a gratifying feeling.

OK, I really never thought I would like cleaning when I started the business I just thought it was an easy, low start up cost business to get into, but I really do miss it. Unfortunately I just can't do that full time right now, because its too irratic and irregular for being a single mom, plus I do enjoy my job I have now. (one day hopefully it will be financially rewarding enough to get by!) So I guess for now I will just settle for cleaner by night, Accounting Clerk by Day!

Oh life...

So things in my life have changed immensely over the last couple of months. I cannot even begin to describe the life changes, the trauma, and the struggles I have been going through. I never would have thought I would have done so well through these times, and I never ever would have imagined anything like this happening in my life, especially for a second time. For those of you who don't know what has been going on, I'm sorry, you will not learn about it in this posting. BUT, stay tuned I will talk about it in the future, as my blog goes private in a few days. I just need every one's email addresses so I can add them for those of you who are not sure how to "follow".(I still love you Kristen).

So back to the point of my story, (which was actually mostly from an email I sent, which made me realize this is good stuff, I should share it!) with all that has been going on I must admit, its been way too long since I've had social interaction, so the other night I went and did my visiting Teaching in my new ward and it was really nice to just meet people! I feel bad though, the visit ended up being all about me! I think we owe her a re-do or something! lol. I am feeling quite guilty. Its supposed to be about seeing how she's doing, and what she needs - I was just yapping away!! She is a quiet girl though, very nice. I hope I can find a way to connect with her, and be a good visiting teacher.

Are you upset little friend? Have you been lying awake worrying? Well, don’t worry... I’m here. The floods will recede, the famine will end, the sun will shine tomorrow, and I will always be here to take care of you.

– Charlie Brown to Snoopy

I have to admit, I am still spiritually weak, and I don't know how good I am to anyone right now. Its kind of like the lesson my partner gave - if we aren't keeping our own faith up, how can we build strong families or do the rest of the things the relief society was intended to do? So I'm still working on step one. It wasn't always that way. I used to be so strong... so good. I guess that must be why the promptings in my heart and the spirit still speaks to me so loudly. I often have this feeling, telling me that I should be doing more of the right things, like reading my scriptures, and having my family home evenings. I have even almost abandoned personal prayer. Not because I don't believe, but because I don't feel worthy. I still occasionally do pray, I am just the kind of person who feels like, how can I ask anything of Heavenly father when I know that I have done nothing to show to him that I am walking on his path? Heck, I'm not walking his path lately. I have been doing things I shouldn't (well, a little, kinda) Like breaking the sabbath, and missed my Tithing and swearing, and STUFF.

For me, after I joined the church, I had my true conversion of heart a year ago, when my marriage was falling apart, my whole life was actually in chaos. I had nothing to lose but to try it out. Try to do all these demanding commandments, and "boring" scripture study (which I love and enjoy now) and time consuming church commitments. I really needed answers to prayers in my life at that time, and I needed the blessings the Lord had to offer. Mostly, I really needed his help, by way of guidance in answer to my prayers, and comfort. In the first few weeks, I read my scriptures daily, and would pray often. I also began reading other church material, and LDS books. I studied books to help me understand the scriptures, and I prayed some more. Still no answers. Still Chaos. I figured I must not be righteous enough, or following the commandments enough for the blessings which I seek, so I searched out all the commandments I could, and one by one, I started adding in more, and more. I was trying to follow each to the best of my ability. Early to bed, Early to Rise...Ate less meat...Did TONS of service work... Prayed from my heart a gazillion times a day. I began to feel a difference in my life. I felt joy and peace in my heart. Not one circumstance had changed for the better, but a calm peace and understanding had washed over me, to tell me every thing would be fine. I carried this wonderful peace with me for weeks. I felt the spirit with me everywhere I went. Eventually circumstances in my life did start changing too, my children were more well behaved too, which was huge. What made me finally realize that I knew and still know this gospel is true was in the trial and the "just doing it" phase. When you just give it a try, put your faith on the line, do the commandment and wait for the PROMISED blessings they will come. That's why they are promised. He does not lie to us. 

Now, Those times in my life are gone, that peace has left my heart, and lately I get a lot of emptiness in my heart instead. Like I heard in one of my favorite talks "My Soul Hungered...and my stomach growled"

I am in a place of needing a spiritual fill-up. My gas tank is empty, and without filling it by reading my scriptures daily and nurturing my soul, I have caused this feeling to come about in me...so if I am so smart, so strong in my faith in my heart (way deep down in side) then Why won't I just change my actions? PLEASE tell me... WHY won't I just start doing what I need to do to feel better, to create better and to be prosperous and happy? Sometimes the first few steps are the hardest. I have been looking for a few pushes here and there to help get me going. 

I just keep thinking, wow I have been so off track, I haven't been doing the things I should, like prayer, or scriptures, or fasting etc. Yet I still have such a STRONG feeling of the spirit encouraging and guiding me to do what is right, to come back to following the commandments and reading my scriptures etc. For this to be happening Heavenly father must really love me, and he must have a plan for me, one that I don't know of, that he really doesn't want me to ruin with my agency by choosing to walk away, and "live the fun life".

Well, I guess if I put it that way, I think I should smarten up hey? before I wreck something great.

Back in my BLOG!

So in case any of you have been wondering where I went I want you to know that I was LOCKED out of my own BLOG!! Isn't that crazy! I could not figure out my password or reset it to save my life. It took a lot of time, and reseting passwords all over the place all the way back into my email too, but I'm back!

Soooo..... those of you who are close to me know, my life has flip turned upside down, and it seems like I am just picking up the peices and making myself a new one now. Which can sound bad if you want it to, but I like to think its great. I have had some really good oppertunities to start fresh with things, and right now is a great oppertunity for me to make the choices about who I want to be, what I want to do with my life and all those fun things. I have a clean slate to start with!

Well, I don't have that much time right now for blogging, and before I say too much I did want to mention, I want to be able to talk about some of my personal life, so I am going to be making my Blog go private soon. So if you have been following it you will need to officially become a "follower" if you want to be able to access it when it goes private.

Chocolate

So I learned something really horrible last week. Chocolate triggers migraines for me. Yes, I had learned that was one of the triggers when I had went to the headache clinic last summer, but since I get headaches so frequently I can never pin down food triggers etc. Plus, normally I am not much of a chocolate lover.

UNTIL!!!!

I found Hershey's Cookies and Creme DROPS!

Yes, they are fantastic. Delicious. Make your mouth want to sing. :) But, alas, my pure bliss of chocolaty enjoyment only lasted a few days. I had been eating these delicious little treats at work each day, and suffering through my usual migraines, when on Friday I showed up to work migraine free, feeling great. I started eating a few of these chocolates and it had even crossed my mind right at that very moment, what if this chocolate triggers a migraine? And I thought, naw, I never eat chocolate and I don't even have triggers. So I continued eating a few more, but within 30 minutes I got a migraine!!! Unbelievable. My favorite treat, and my new found love has become my number one enemy within one week. This makes me very sad. So no more chocolate for me. Any kind of chocolate.

Well, even though my mind has thought of many more wonderful things I can blog about, it (being my mind) is also telling me its already 30 minutes past my bedtime. That's right people, my new bedtime is 8:30, pretty sad isn't it? I think it is. So, tired ol' me is off to catch up on some much needed rest after a weekend of cleaning and visiting up in Calgary with my Mom. I had a great time up there. I wish I could go up every 2nd weekend to see her, its so great to visit with her, I truly love my mom. Sometimes (like right now after a visit) I miss living closer to her.

Good night world.