Ok, so I started this post LAST week! So I figured I should finish it off and post it!
I had counselling yesterday (not really yesterday now!) and my doctor said something that I really liked and realized to be SO true I just didn't ever realize it, or know how to put it so simply. Because of the life I have lived, and the things I have experienced a lot of normal responses for most people are just reaction to what they learned growing up. I will use a "dummied" down version of what I'm saying. So, if you grew up in the church, you may be accustomed to prayer every day, and this is natural, and normal to you. You don't neccessarily have to REALLY think hard, set goals, and put concentrated effort on it, in order to make sure to pray. You know how important it is, so you do this. Where I did not grow up in the church, so remembering to pray often isn't a natural habit. It is something that needs work. Get what I'm saying? But the analogy isn't so much applying to my gospel life, it was referring to my life coping skills, and my parenting skills, and my ways of handling relationships around me. I'm just saying, I have been dealt a big share of difficulties (to put it lightly) in this life time, and because of my crazy life I don't always auto respond to normal things typically. BuT what I do want to say, is that learning this was enlightening, and a positive thing, at least to me. Because I am the type of person to want to always strive to make myself better, to try to be objective to my faults, and work to change, this statement was encouraging to me. It reminds me, that it may seem harder for me, or more challenging at times to adjust, cope or learn new behaviors because they aren't the norm to me. Which is ok, at least I know that I can do it, it just may take a little longer for me. :)
I'm so glad to be able to set goals, and be working on myself, to be a better me. It is so encouraging (yes self-encouraging!) to know that I can make real changes, that the things I am working on are changing, and making a difference. I find it funny how quickly we de-value our successes in life. If it isn't huge, or noteworthy, or if you haven't recieved accolades for it, we consider it just "everyday life". But there are many successes that we have in this life, that we should celebrate. Like Mother's who read bedtime stories to their children every night. (Or almost everynight) or reading our scriptures daily to our children. These may seem minimal, or just so habitual that they aren't worth being proud of, or celebrating, but they are successes! It is not easy to make, or maintain a routine with children. Its not easy to find the time to spend with them reading them stories. Or the patience, or love.
I realized from something a friend taught me, that their are people out there who dont do these or other daily life things that for me have become routine. And some of them, are things I couldn't manage before, so I'm celebrating my own success in finding a way to make it work in my life. So I have found new happiness in celebrating these things. In doing so I will list a few here that pop into my mind over the last two weeks:
-Getting a load of laundry done BEFORE work (that means at 5am people!), almost every day of the week, and 2-3 loads done after work.
-Working almost a full work week with a flu
-Managing to get out of bed at 5 every day of the work week!
-Getting the kids dressed, ready, and dropped off on time
-Spending one on one time with each of my children every week, sometimes more than once
-Reading the scriptures with my children every night
-Studied my own scriptures almost daily
-Washed my sheets 2-3 times a week. (LOVE THIS ONE!)
-Ensured a decent family home evening occurred every monday over the last 4 weeks. (Thats a record)
So I hope all mothers look at their small deeds and realize these are not just habits, or things you "have" to do, they are successes.
