I'm all they got.

Ok, so I am just going to randomly throw out a few things here, because I'm actually supposed to be getting ready for work right now and I always waste too much time on the computer in the morning. Look at that its already 5:15am, (I've been up since 4) and I haven't even started doing my hair or decided what I'm going to where. Which is a process in itself. ANYWAYS, that's not what I was going to write about.

So like always after I have a doctor's appointment I usually have things to reflect on. So I had an MRI last month to see if they could get any information regarding my migraines, but usually an MRI doesn't find anything for migraines unless you have like a brain tumor. Well... they found a lump in my brain. Talk about freak me out. As of right now we don't have a clue as to what it is or means, but that its not a solid ~ which means not cancerous/or you typical brain tumor BUT it still could be this other type of tumor that is a fluid filled lump that grows. As it grows it presses on a part in your brain which causes it to produce more hormones and you go blind and get ugly basically! lol. OK, OK, you end up getting manlier, enlarged ears, and jaw, hands and feet etc. (See sounds ugly to me). So what happens then? Brain surgery. I'm not kidding. They go in through your nose, and its all robotically done. (Even doc says we are hoping for the cyst) To say the least, I am a little FREAKED out right now. Are you KIDDING ME??? I'm a single mother! Anyways, on the plus side I get a follow up MRI in 6 months to see if it is growing. Otherwise it may be just a cyst thingy (I'm great with technical jargon) that you're born with. I know maybe I should have mentioned the plus side first but if you have ever had a scare you'll understand how until you know for sure, you spend time worrying about the what if's. Especially in my case, I keep thinking how only a year and a half ago I had never even had a migraine in my life, and how many other side effects came with them that weren't A-typical, that could've been caused by this tumor.  Its about just under the size of a dime right now. in case you were wondering, but not a ball (like a marble) instead its like its been squished. Hope that makes sense.

Looks like I'm out of time for my other thoughts. After I started writing I guess I realized I did have quite a bit to say about that one topic. I guess its not just some random thing. I get to find out some more info from the Neurologist on Tuesday next week, and I know I'm supposed to be thinking oh no big deal its nothing. (like when they said don't worry your only getting an MRI as a back up, we won't find anything). But to me its something. They didn't or haven't talked to me about chances or odds of it actually being the type of tumor that we don't want. I guess this would sound way better if I knew the name hey? lol. I should have written it down. Dang long confusing doctor words! I guess I just keep thinking, I'm all my kids got. I'm all they got. What does this mean?